porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize