K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
wow bdsm is so cute
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
