i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
