Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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