found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
