When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
