My first STD was from a foam party
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
