Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
