he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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