Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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