Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
