Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
