oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Randomize
