Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize