I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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