I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
it's like heaven, but drunker
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
