i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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