he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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