she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
