"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
