dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
