At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Less talking, more tequila
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
