haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Randomize