Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
