I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
