she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
