I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
im holly from the hills drunk
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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