I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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