I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I AM VODKA MAN
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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