you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
When did angry sex become our thing?
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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