speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
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