is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Randomize
