ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
