They should really pass out barf bags in church
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Randomize
