i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
