Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
