Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
