Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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