i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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