Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
