Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
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