you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize