Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
a search helicopter?!
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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