She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Randomize
