I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
