and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
