Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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