i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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