You work out of a Hotel?
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
