Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
The uberlube is also flammable
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
