You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
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