I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
