in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
