Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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