I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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