the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
