i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I forgot wine drunk hurts
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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