Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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