hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Someone shattered a urinal.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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