he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
